it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
