I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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