You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
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