i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Michael Bay diarrhea
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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