dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
