her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
