i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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