I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
