Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
