As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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