he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
