party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
ttyl tear gas
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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