I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
