Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
this will be a night to untag.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
