You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
