Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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