I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
