a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
