and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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