Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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