i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
