if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
