I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
