whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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