theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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