When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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