Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
