hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
The adults are the big ones right?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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