just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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