On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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