All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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