We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
