You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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