I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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