i don't like sucking hair
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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