My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Verdict: uncircumcised.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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