You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
