You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize