You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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