Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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