plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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