Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
