dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
