i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
