ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
