Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
