Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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