I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
