Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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