Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
