My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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