absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
